Women are very lucky to have an amazing choice of classic, vintage, demure or sexy swimwear. No matter what shape we are, we can always find the prefect swimsuit to enhance our silhouette. Men, on the other hand, are not that lucky. Most choices of swimwear are either boring or edging on the ridiculous and there are not many designs to disguise weak areas and enhance stronger areas of their body.
Sometimes however, the choice of swimwear is not only based on body shape or personal preferences. For example, for some unexplained reason, in France men are obliged to wear Speedo briefs to be allowed into the public swimming pools. I mean, I can wear a Mu-Mu or my tiniest, barely there bikini and no one objects, but if my husband comes with me wearing shorts for swimming then he won’t be allowed in the pool… crazy? As a matter of fact he thinks it is a vendetta against him and is only made up so that French ladies can delight themselves with his body! I have asked several times the reasons for this “pool legislation” but no one has been able to give me a valid reason yet. So every Summer I am faced with the same problem, what swimwear to buy for my man?
How to choose men’s swimwear:
For the tall and athletic, anything will do. Just choose a nice color to match skin tone.
For the short and athletic, usually the Speedo brief style will do the trick. Go for a high leg cut to make legs look longer and a low waist band to show off those abs. Avoid long and extra long shorts.
For the tall and thin, baggy shorts are best. Make sure you don’t overdo the “bagginess”
For the tall and big, long shorts in one solid colour will look best. If you want patterned swimwear, choose small patterns and keep the colours down.
G-strings for men are for private events or shows. I had a friend who made a birthday party for her young husband –a young chubby milk white boy- The party was at the height of summer so it was done around the pool. When the moment came to bring his birthday cake, she did so along with his tiny present a “bright coloured g-string” of course everybody cheered him to wear it and he did, blinding us all with his milk-white flabby bottom cheeks! Please do not do that to your man.
G-strings are never a good idea for men, I have seen them on the beach on the most athletic yummy bodies, and NO, they don’t work. You are wondering all the time whether he is gay or not!
Regular swimwear shorts in solid colours or small prints are perfect for older men who do not want to draw attention to themselves.
Choose utilitarian swimwear. I mean swimming trunks for the swimmers, shorts for the volleyball or football players.
Bermuda shorts which finish a few inches above the knee and fall between a tight fit and a baggy fit are great covers for most imperfections.
Tall men who are within their weight range can wear patterns: big, small, colourful, most patterns will work.
For those with small “equipment” to fill in their bikini, but who still want to show off their assets, why not try “Male enhanced swimwear”. They are just like women’s Wonderbra but for men.
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Women are very lucky to have an amazing choice of classic, vintage, demure or sexy swimwear. No matter what shape we are, we can always find the prefect swimsuit to enhance our silhouette. Men, on the other hand, are not that lucky. Most choices of swimwear are either boring or edging on the ridiculous and there are not many designs to disguise weak areas and enhance stronger areas of their body.
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